My wife was talking about this the other day, and I started thinking about it again. Why are some people, including friends and family members, so unsupportive of our conditions?
I’m part of the problem is that people don't know how to treat us, to react to us, to interact with us. For example, my son Kyle. He's a very confident, good looking kid, and to meet and talk to him you'd never suspect his issues. And now my condition is becoming known, and this is going to be interesting how it goes over. Already I’m being treated differently by many. The funny thing is, I can point to several people in our extended family suffering from the same thing. They probably don't know they have it, and if they did would surely never admit it. It's hereditary, and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. But the stigma must be avoided.
People think that factors such as willpower, hard work, dedication, and so forth can overcome anything. I used to think so also. If someone gets off track, give 'em a swift kick in the rear to catch their attention and put them on-track again. But all the kicks in the rear don't do anything if the chemical make-up of the brain isn't what it should be.
At the NAMI meeting the other night I was talking to a father who was having a hard time adjusting to his son's schizophrenia. He talked about setting rules, laying down the law, and putting the kid out on the street if the rules were broken. I've heard that a million times, and we've DONE that. It just doesn't work, and really accomplishes nothing. Once again, all the rules in the world don't mean a thing if the ability to think from point A to point B to point Z is not there.
My son can't do many things, and I can't do many things. My wife has been telling my son to return his call from an agency that can get assistance started for him. She left out a number every day this week for him to call. So this morning, she got him up early, sat him down, dialed the number, told the person her son wasn't comfortable on the phone. The lady understood fully, my wife then handed the phone to my son who took over with confidence and smooth talking. But he just was not capable of picking up that phone and dialing that number.
I have a hard time opening up mail, bills, and so forth. I just can't do it. I'll set them aside and never do it. Thank goodness for a wife who recognizes what I have difficulty doing, and takes over for me. I can't stand clutter and messes, something just snaps. So I'll avoid messy rooms in our house like the plague. I just can't bring myself to face it. It's not that I'm lazy, or don't want to keep a clean house, I just am not capable of doing certain things. Is this just an excuse? I suppose that's possible, but I really don't think so...
As parents of a bipolar child it was important to us to know how to live with and nurture that child. We (actually mostly my wife) read countless books and did extensive research on this condition. When it came out in me, we knew what to expect, having suspected it for years. But people interacting with those suffering from mental issues need to research enough to understand, and open their hearts enough to accept.
I’m part of the problem is that people don't know how to treat us, to react to us, to interact with us. For example, my son Kyle. He's a very confident, good looking kid, and to meet and talk to him you'd never suspect his issues. And now my condition is becoming known, and this is going to be interesting how it goes over. Already I’m being treated differently by many. The funny thing is, I can point to several people in our extended family suffering from the same thing. They probably don't know they have it, and if they did would surely never admit it. It's hereditary, and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. But the stigma must be avoided.
People think that factors such as willpower, hard work, dedication, and so forth can overcome anything. I used to think so also. If someone gets off track, give 'em a swift kick in the rear to catch their attention and put them on-track again. But all the kicks in the rear don't do anything if the chemical make-up of the brain isn't what it should be.
At the NAMI meeting the other night I was talking to a father who was having a hard time adjusting to his son's schizophrenia. He talked about setting rules, laying down the law, and putting the kid out on the street if the rules were broken. I've heard that a million times, and we've DONE that. It just doesn't work, and really accomplishes nothing. Once again, all the rules in the world don't mean a thing if the ability to think from point A to point B to point Z is not there.
My son can't do many things, and I can't do many things. My wife has been telling my son to return his call from an agency that can get assistance started for him. She left out a number every day this week for him to call. So this morning, she got him up early, sat him down, dialed the number, told the person her son wasn't comfortable on the phone. The lady understood fully, my wife then handed the phone to my son who took over with confidence and smooth talking. But he just was not capable of picking up that phone and dialing that number.
I have a hard time opening up mail, bills, and so forth. I just can't do it. I'll set them aside and never do it. Thank goodness for a wife who recognizes what I have difficulty doing, and takes over for me. I can't stand clutter and messes, something just snaps. So I'll avoid messy rooms in our house like the plague. I just can't bring myself to face it. It's not that I'm lazy, or don't want to keep a clean house, I just am not capable of doing certain things. Is this just an excuse? I suppose that's possible, but I really don't think so...
As parents of a bipolar child it was important to us to know how to live with and nurture that child. We (actually mostly my wife) read countless books and did extensive research on this condition. When it came out in me, we knew what to expect, having suspected it for years. But people interacting with those suffering from mental issues need to research enough to understand, and open their hearts enough to accept.
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